EXT. THE CASTLE GARDENS - AFTERNOON
Lucy, two beautiful retainers and two handsome bodyguards escort Dolph through
the gardens.
The gardens are magical in their construction. Flowers are arranged tastefully with
colors so bright they'd make a rainbow jealous. Lucy and Dolph walk ahead of their
entourage.
LUCINDA
These gardens are an expression
of my own magic. Do you like them?
DOLPH
They're beautiful. You must have a
green thumb.
Lucy looks shocked and checks her thumb.
LUCINDA
I think not Sir Knight. I bathe
everyday.
DOLPH
It's an expression. It means
you are good with the green
things. Plants, flowers...
Lucinda giggles.
LUCINDA
I see.
Lucinda gestures to the valley before them.
LUCINDA
Do you like our little valley?
A picture perfect valley spreads beyond a low stone wall. The castle crowns a
hill behind them. The gardens are terraced into that hill. A couple of miles from the
base of the hill is a sleepy little village.
DOLPH
It's beautiful. What's the name
of the village?
LUCINDA
That is Vertlyon. The people there
and in several other villages around
this countryside are all under the
protection of my father.
DOLPH
Protection from Corwin?
LUCINDA
He is the only one that troubles us.
All the other kings that neighbor us
love my father.
There is a scream from behind them.
Dolph spins on instinct. Four flying creatures and a masked woman riding a small
dragon have zoomed in over the trees.
The masked woman is dressed in black leather. She sports a broadsword slung across
her back.
Two of the four foot flying creatures are harpies. The other two creatures are man-sized
flying demons. They bear wicked looking rapiers.
The demons engage the bodyguards while the harpies chase the servants about the garden.
Dolph dives on Lucy. The dragons claws rake empty air. Dolph lays on top of Lucy. She
smiles up at him.
LUCINDA
Really, Sir Knight, I don't think
this is the time.
Dolph frowns, looks around. There is an apple orchard ten yards away.
DOLPH
Take cover under those apple trees, quickly!
Dolph springs to his feet.
A demons runs a bodyguard through. It spies the unarmed Dolph.
With a shrill scream and a flap of batlike wings, the demon springs through the air at Dolph.
The Demon's blade slices empty air. Dolph ducks and plants a foot in the creatures stomach.
It doubles over. Dolph slams it in the face.
The creature flies backward in a spray of blood from a crushed nose.
Dolph chases after the fallen dark angel. He snatches up the sword it has dropped. Dolph
relieves the demon of its head.
Dolph turns to face the other demon as it rushes him.
He barely parries a blow to his head. The creature attacks with insane fury.
Dolph throws the pommel of his sword into the demon's face. The creature staggers back.
Dolph runs him through.
A shadow passes over Dolph. He is slammed to the ground by dragon claws up side the head.
He staggers to his knees. The lithe form of the masked woman is on him. She kicks him in the
stomach. Dolph is thrown to his back. She jumps onto Dolph, buries her knees in his midsection.
He gasps as she lays her sword across his throat. She stares at him through her mask for a second.
The mask can't hide her piercing, yet seductive, eyes. Raven black hair emerges from the back
of the mask to frame sweet promise. She speaks from full red lips with a sensuous alto voice.
MASKED WOMAN
So you are the kings new champion...
My... you're a big one.
Dolph attempts to regain his breath.
MASKED WOMAN
Did the king tell you what happened to
his last champion?
She runs a seductive finger about Dolph's face.
MASKED WOMAN
He sends you after my Corwin, doesn't he?
I tell you this, warrior, I will defend Corwin to
my last dying breath as will all the peoples of
Valle de la Noir. Do you understand?
Dolph replies with an intense stare.
LUCINDA
Get away from him, you faceless bitch!
The masked woman jumps to her feet. She spins to find Lucy brandishing a dagger in
each hand. The masked woman has left the point of her weapon on Dolph's throat.
MASKED WOMAN
It was you I came for, Lucy. Your sister
misses you.
LUCINDA
She will be free soon as will we all!
MASKED WOMAN
With the aid of this one?
She looks down at Dolph.
MASKED WOMAN
He's big, but not much of warrior. Shall I
cut his throat?
Lucy takes a deep breath of fear. The masked one smiles. She turns to Dolph.
MASKED WOMAN
Not today, Warrior. They'll merely summon
another and he may not be as pretty as you.
The masked woman springs away from Dolph and jumps to the back of her dragon. In seconds
they are gone. Lucy runs to the fallen Dolph.
LUCINDA
My Sweet Knight are you all right?
Are you hurt?
DOLPH
I'm fine...
LUCINDA
That... woman, Serena, is Corwin's
consort. It was she who stole my sister.
DOLPH
They kidnapped your sister?
LUCINDA
(confused)
She is no child, Good Knight, no kid,
but a lady in the flower of her womanhood.
DOLPH
Why didn't your father tell me she
was kid-, abducted?
LUCINDA
He was going to tell you. First he
wanted to see if you would quest for
him without the promise of a lady's dire
need. If you said no, he would have
told you of Drusilla's fate.
DOLPH
And if I said, yes?
LUCINDA
He still would have told you knowing
you would quest that much harder to
save the king's daughter.
Dolph picks himself up.
DOLPH
He should have told me up front.
Lucy starts crying forced tears. She buries her head in Dolph's chest.
LUCINDA
Please, Good Knight. Return my
sister to me. I miss her so.
Dolph hesitantly holds her.
INT. THE KING'S HALL - NOON
A few people mill about the King's hall. The King confers with Adomass and some advisors
next to his throne. Dolph strides into the room.
DOLPH
If you had told me about your
daughter up front I would have
left already.
The King smiles.
KING MALVALLE
Spoken like a true knight!
ADOMASS
Understand, Warrior, returning the
King's daughter is secondary to
killing Corwin.
Dolph raises an eyebrow and turns to the King.
DOLPH
Is this true?
The king sighs with the weight of the world.
KING MALVALLE
I must think of my people first, even before
my own children. Drucilla knows this.
ADOMASS
Corwin will destroy us all when he can.
We must destroy him first.
Deep in thought Dolph stares at the King and Adomass.
DOLPH
I'll need some things.
KING MALVALLE
Draw up a list. If we can provide what
you need it is yours.
DOLPH
There are some things I want to make.
I'll need some time.
ADOMASS
You may have all the time you want as
long as it does not exceed three days.
DOLPH
Why three days?
ADOMASS
Corwin is forging a magical construct of
enormous power. It will be complete
within a fortnight.
DOLPH
Then why can't I have two weeks?
ADOMASS
It will be able to move within the week.
I do not believe you will want to face this
monster.
KING MALVALLE
This creature's construction is what
persuaded us to summon you. If it is
finished it will turn the land and its people
to waste.
Adomass sweeps an open hand before him.
Dust trails the motion of his hand.
EXT. ROCKY CANYONS - LATE MORNING
Augustus leads Dolph and six other warriors down a dirt trail. The canyon they are in is
devoid of life. Fear hangs about the group like cobwebs.
Dolph sits astride a huge stallion. His dress is a combination of twentieth century earth
and the Dark Ages.
Several weapons hang from the horse's saddle, including a wicked looking crossbow. A
pistol crossbow is holstered at Dolph's hip. A great broadsword is strapped across his back.
AUGUSTUS
Here starts Corwin's lands, Warrior.
We will take you to the end of this canyon,
and then you must travel alone.
DOLPH
Afraid to go any further?
Augustus snaps around and reaches for the hilt of his broadsword.
AUGUSTUS
I fear nothing Engineer! These are
the King's orders.
Dolph smiles at Augustus' back. He returns to scanning the trail ahead. Only Dolph notices
the movement in the rocks above.
EXT. A ROCKY PLAIN BEFORE THE CANYON - NOON
A boulder strewn field stretches out before the small group. The ground seems blasted as if
from a great war.
AUGUSTUS
This is as far as we go.
Augustus hands Dolph a map.
AUGUSTUS
This is written in the blood of many
good warriors. The Xes show where
they were ambushed.
WARRIOR 1
These hills are infested with Corwin's
creatures.
DOLPH
What kind of creatures?
Augustus smiles an evil smile.
AUGUSTUS
Think of your most vile nightmares
and they are worse than that.
WARRIOR 1
Corwin has an army of them.
AUGUSTUS
You have a head to take, Warrior.
You'd best be about it.
With a yell the knights put their spurs to their steeds and head back down the canyon.
Dolph watches them go. Dolph looks at the map and then at the trail before him.
DOLPH
(sighs)
This isn't what I got my PHD for.
EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE ROCKY PLAIN - LATER
Dolph picks his way through the boulders.
Shadows flit from boulder to boulder.
The horse is jittery and snorts with fear. Dolph reaches back and loosens his sword.
Man and beast enter a clearing amid the rocks. The horse stops in the center of the
clearing. It begins to paw the earth. Dolph draws his sword.
Six creatures of varying shapes and sizes step from behind the boulders.
One creature stands over seven feet tall and would be the definition of a troll. His only
weapon is a large wooden club.
Dolph's horse begins to scream and buck, pawing at the air. Dolph tries to calm the creature.
Corwin's soldiers advance on him.
Dolph snatches up the pistol crossbow and shoots the troll in the stomach. The troll looks
down at the bolt in confusion.
TROLL
Ow.
The creatures attack Dolph. They worry the horse with lances, clubs and swords.
Dolph keeps them at bay with his broadsword. The troll pulls the bolt from his body.
TROLL
Ow.
The troll studies the bolt and the hole in his stomach. He pokes at the hole. The troll shrugs.
He tosses away the bolt.
The troll picks up his club and slams Dolph's horse up side the head. The horse goes over with
Dolph onto the rocky ground.
Dolph's head slams into the ground. He begins to lose consciousness. Corwin's beasts titter as
they surround him.
VOICE
Not much of warrior, is he?
TROLL
Ow.
Blackness takes Dolph.
INT. CORWIN'S THRONE ROOM - LATER
CORWIN sits upon his throne talking to Serena.
Corwin is of medium build, good looking and is as dark as Dolph is fair. He sports a short pony tail
gathered behind his head. He is dressed entirely in black.
Serena is still masked.
Corwin's throne room is much smaller and spartan than King Malvalle's hall. Creatures of all description
amuse themselves in this chamber.
There is a BANG. The two massive wooden doors that protect this room are shoved open.
Dolph is stripped to the waist. A large wooden yoke holds him.
A creature that looks to be half penguin half man waddles into the room. In one flipper the penguin man
holds a leash which is attached to a collar at Dolph's neck.
Dolph is escorted roughly into the room. Corwin looks up with an evil smile.
CORWIN
(sarcastic)
So the King's champion has
finally come to visit us... You were
right, Serena. He is a big one...
Bring Dolph in, uh, Flipper.
Corwin smirks and starts singing.
CORWIN
Flipper! Flipper! He's faster
than lightning! Dah, dah, dah,
dah, dah, dah!
A smile breaks on the little penguin man's face and he starts to dance in a circle. Corwin rises
to approach Dolph.
CORWIN
So,
(sarcastic)
Dolph... What kind of name is
that anyway. Your parents marine
biologists or something.
DOLPH
It's Norwegian.
CORWIN
A Viking! Hey, everybody, we
got a Viking in our midst!
The creatures applaud. Corwin leans close to confide in Dolph
CORWIN
They love the Nordic myths.
I recite them around the fireplace.
DOLPH
I'm an engineer, not a Viking.
CORWIN
You look like a linebacker to me.
Dolph gives Corwin a quizzical look.
TROLL
Ow.
Corwin looks over at the troll who is pointing at the oozing hole in his stomach. The
troll is a ghastly white from loss of blood.
CORWIN
Oh my God! What have you
done to Baby Hewey!
TROLL
Ow.
Corwin inspects the wound.
CORWIN
Hewey, how many times have
I told you you've got to plug up
the holes?
Corwin waves a hand over the wound. With a light blue glow the wound disappears. Hewey
smiles.
HEWEY
No ow!
Hewey snatches up Corwin. He gives him a big bone crushing hug.
Corwin tries to talk through a crushed chest.
CORWIN
Okay! Okay! Put me down!
Put me down!
Hewey gives Corwin a kiss on the forehead and then puts him down. Corwin staggers and
then composes himself. He turns to Dolph.
CORWIN
This kind of shit really pisses me
off! Typical. Shoot first, ask questions
later.
SERENA
Typical man.
DOLPH
They attacked me I had no choice.
Corwin turns to Hewey.
CORWIN
Is that true?
Hewey responds with childlike innocence.
HEWEY
Uh-uh.
Corwin turns back to Dolph. With one hand he grabs Dolph by the throat and lifts him up off of
the ground.
CORWIN
You're just like Malvalle and his sick
bunch of friends! Kill the big uglies!
Waste 'em all! You big dumb shit! I
ought to toss you out the window.
SERENA
Corwin, we need him.
Corwin drops a gasping Dolph to his knees. He returns in a huff to sit on his throne.
CORWIN
You're pathetic! They sent you to
kill me!? You should have stuck to
engineering.
DOLPH
I didn't ask for this job!
CORWIN
But you took it anyway, didn't you!
DOLPH
You stole the King's daughter!
Corwin dismisses this fact with the wave of a hand.
CORWIN
It's the only way I could keep King
dickweed off my back!
SERENA
It's also the biggest mistake you've
ever made.
CORWIN
Yes, I know, Sweets, you don't need
to keep reminding me of that fact.
DOLPH
Damn right it was a mistake!
Corwin laughs at Dolph.
CORWIN
Don't misunderstand, Dolph. It's not
a mistake because of you.
DOLPH
Really? Then why's it such a big
mistake?
CORWIN
Because she's a supreme bitch.
SERENA
She scares the harpies.
CORWIN
This lady can scare a dragon.
SERENA
Actually she has. Balrog won't
go near her.
DOLPH
Is that why her sister wants her
back so badly?
SERENA
Lucinda!
The entire room breaks out into laughter.
CORWIN
That randy bitch probably wants
her sister back because she still
has her favorite earrings.
Dolph frowns and struggles to his feet.
DOLPH
Nevertheless, I want her freed!
Corwin stands again. He descends the stairs to get in Dolph's face.
CORWIN
You're a cocky bastard... You gonna
kill me too? That's what Malvalle sent
you here for, isn't it?
DOLPH
I just came for the girl.
CORWIN
That's not what I hear. You see
I got this little experiment going
and it's scaring the shit out of the
King. Adomass tell you
about it?
DOLPH
I just want the girl. Then I'll leave.
Corwin walks among his creatures. He occasionally adjusts a uniform or shows some
other subtle sign of affection.
CORWIN
Of course. We want you to take
her back. She's driving us crazy.
A creature with a wild mop of red hair starts bouncing around Dolph and screaming.
MAD DOG
Crazy! Crazy, crazy! Crazy.
CORWIN
Yo! Mad Dog! Chill! ...
Mad dog skulks off, turns and addresses Corwin.
MAD DOG
Woof.
CORWIN
But first you must experience some
of our hospitality. Hewey, take him
to the dungeon and clean him up.
Tonight we're gonna have a party in
Dolph's honor!
CREATURES
A party! Party! Party! Party!
Serena smiles as Corwin rejoins her on the throne. Dolph is led out of the room.
INT. DUNGEON - LATER
Hewey grabs Dolph by the throat. Two walking deformities take off Dolph's yolk. They
manacle his hands to chains hanging from the ceiling.
Hewey points to where Dolph's bolt hit him.
HEWEY
No ow.
DOLPH
I'm happy for you.
Hewey pats Dolph on the head and walks away.
A large bald man with one eye sets a long table in front of Dolph. Another creature lines it
with all manner of wicked looking steel implements.
Dolph grows uncomfortable.
A steaming bucket of liquid is placed at Dolph's feet. Mad dog puts a tentative finger in the
liquid and howls in pain. He wrings his hands together in maniacal evil.
MAD DOG
(evil)
A bath, hee, hee, hee. A bath for you.
Dolph grimaces as a metal brazier is placed on the table.
A pot of bubbling white liquid is placed amongst the steel implements. Two benches are
placed on either side of the table. Several creatures gather around the table and Dolph.
SCHLOCK, the bald man with one eye, picks up a curved hook implement and fingers its point.
SCHLOCK
I am Schlock, and I will be cleaning you up. But first-
Schlock smiles an evil smile. Dolph fills his chest in anticipation of having his flesh torn.
The creatures about them titter in anticipation.
SCHLOCK
Fondue!!!!!
A platter of vegetables and meats is thrown next to the cheese on the table.
Schlock deftly spears a hunk of meat, dips it in cheese and offers it to Dolph.
SCHLOCK
Appetizer?
Dolph is in shock having expected the worst.
DEFORMITY #1
Come on. Schlock makes an excellent
fondue.
HEWEY
Fondue!
Hewey has several hunks of meat in his fingers and is attacking the cheese.
SCHLOCK
Hewey use a fork! Did you wash
your hands!?
Hewey looks hurt and holds out his cheesy hands.
HEWEY
Yes, see?
SCHLOCK
All right, but use a fork.
Schlock holds the meat up to Dolph who shrugs and then takes it with his teeth.
He returns Schlock's smile as he munches.
SCHLOCK
Well?
DOLPH
Excellent
The creatures in the room attack the fondue in earnest.
INT. DUNGEON - LATER
The table and fondue have been taken away. A rack has been laid out with some
clothes for Dolph.
Schlock and Mad Dog are silently scrubbing Dolph down.
Serena strolls into the room like a cat moving in for the kill.
SERENA
Let me finish here. Go get ready
for the party.
SCHLOCK
Yes, Your Worship. He didn't have
no fleas or nothin'
SERENA
That's very nice, Schlock, now run
a long.
Mad dog starts running around Serena's legs. Eventually he lays his head against her thigh.
She scratches him behind the ears.
SERENA
You too, Mad Dog.
Serena picks up a sponge from the bucket of clean water. She seductively washes away the
soapy water from Dolph.
SERENA
They're such children, but devoted.
DOLPH
Why do you wear that mask?
Serena stiffens then smiles.
SERENA
A gift from your mentor, Adomass. My
face is no longer pleasing to look at.
DOLPH
He's not my mentor. He's not even a
very good travel agent.
SERENA
I don't know what that is, but I do not
believe that Adomass is good at anything...
except evil.
DOLPH
If that's so, then why does Malvalle
employ him?
SERENA
Because the king's heart is the same
color as Adomass. They serve each
other... This is not what I came here to
talk to you about.
Dolph grows uncomfortable as Serena cleans down around his loin cloth.
DOLPH
What are you here for?
SERENA
It is Corwin's intention to treat
you as a guest. His only weakness
is his kindness.
DOLPH
Where I come from that is not
considered a weakness.
SERENA
Here it is. Drop your guard for
a second and Malvalle will have
your steaming heart in his fist.
DOLPH
Like I said, I'm only here for the girl.
Dolph stiffens.
SERENA
(surprise)
My! You really are a big one.
Serena gets in Dolph's face.
SERENA
If you are rude and try to hurt Corwin...
I'll remove this.
Dolph stiffens further as Serena smiles.
SERENA
To start with.
Serena lets go and tosses the sponge into the bucket.
SERENA
Until dinner then.
Serena leaves Dolph hanging.
Click here for PART III of "The Beautiful People"