I love a story that starts out with, “And then he died.” It begs the question, “Is there an after life or are we just living the prelife?”
The Big Move
By
Richard
Jones
And
then he died.
Morton
H. Bosch flinched as the shrill, piercing sound drilled through his ears and
into his brain. The sound itself wasn't that unusual, but he thought it was in
very bad taste. Death should be peaceful.
The
last thing he remembered was deadly silence. The air, long gone, had taken all
sound with it out the hull puncture. He's struggled for breath in the silence
as blood poured from his ruptured lungs. When the life left his body, Bosch
felt strangely vindicated. He'd always preferred spending his life snuggled in
a virtch, where nasty things like atmosphere blowouts could be cleared by the
reset button. If this was what you got from real life, he'd thought, he didn't
want any more. Then, release… sweet, sweet release and a sensation of floating
into a bright light.
Heaven
and safety, Bosch felt sure, were just around the metaphysical corner. But that
sound. It wouldn't let up. The sound was just so... un-Heavenly. So... No, he
thought, surely not. Not … There...
Listening
more closely, Bosch tentatively identified the sound as a... a whistle?
He
opened his eyes for a quick peek. He slammed his eyes shut, wishing he were the
type prone to visual hallucinations.
"I
don't think so, Dead Boy. I saw those eyes open. On your feet. Now! Move. Move.
Move."
It
was worse than Hell. It was Boot Camp.
Bosch
rubbed his fists against his eyes. Fists? Eyes? But, wasn't he supposed to be
dead? "No, no, no," he said.
"Oh,
yes, Dead Boy. Yes, yes, yes. Time to get your butt in gear. Eternity waits for
no man, alive or dead."
Bosch
opened his eyes, squinting against the golden radiance suffusing everything. As
far as he could see, human figures ran and jumped and crawled and hopped and
dug and.... He shuddered, feeling the creeping whim-whams crawl up his back.
Leaping
from the background, like an ocean liner appearing out of the fog and
accelerating towards a hapless raft packed full of refugees, came a stout,
shouting man wearing a round-brimmed, peaked hat. The man spit the whistle from
his mouth and smiled, an evil, nasty smile promising a great number of things.
The man reached out and hauled Bosch upright
by the lapels, making Bosch realize he was actually wearing clothes. He glanced
down. He wore camouflage, picked out in shades of gold instead of earth tones.
"All
right, Dead Boy. On your feet. Start running. Let's go!"
"Go?
Where? What?"
The
shouting man shoved his arms out full length and stared goggle-eyed at Bosch.
"Did
you just speak to me, Dead Boy? My name is Sgt. Azamael and you will use it the
next time you open your mouth. Do you understand me?"
"Yes-"
Sgt.
Azamael thrust his face to within inches of Bosch's own. Azamel's eyes bugged
out even farther and his face turned a violent red.
"My
name, Dead Boy. My name!"
Bosch
closed his eyes, flashing back fifty years to his first boot camp: the long
nights, the endless days and the mind-numbing rigidity of repetition. Bosch
didn't know what was happening to him, but, after years as a professional
cringer, he had developed his own survival method of go along, get along. He
sighed.
"Sgt.
Azamael, what's going on here? Please?"
"Because
I am the soul of generosity and kindness, I will answer your question. You see
that mountain? We will run there and back again. And we will do it now. Run,
run run!"
"Mountain,
Sgt. Azamael?" Bosch said. "I don't, I don't see a mountain."
"You
will," Azamael said as he heaved Bosch forward. "Eventually."
Stumbling
into motion, Bosch's heavy, dark-gold boots thumped the ground with each step.
In life, Bosch hadn't been just the last person picked for teams. He'd been
named permanent scorekeeper. Dying hadn't done much to improve his athleticism.
After the first few steps, Bosch wheezed like a defective set of bagpipes.
"Why
are you blowing like that, Dead Boy?" Azamael shouted as ran backwards,
occasionally making effortless fifteen-foot-long jumps. "You ain't got no
lungs now."
Bosch
looked up in surprise and promptly tripped over his own feet. He slammed into
the ground, raising a golden cloud of dust. The silence pressed in on him for
just a moment. He looked around. The human figures he'd seen when he first
opened his eyes had vanished in the distance. His peace didn't last.
"Didn't
tell you to stop running, Dead Boy. On your feet." Azamael smiled. Bosch
was beginning to hate that smile.
As
Bosch pushed himself back to his feet, Azamael again leaned in close and
whispered into his ear.
"While
you're pondering my last little question, here's another. Didja ever think
about what you owe God? After all, they gave you life. So, what's it
worth?"
Bosch's
glare should have ripped the polish off chrome, but Azamael's expression never
changed. Bosch definitely hated that smile.
They
ran. To be more precise, Bosch thumped, plodded and wheezed while Azamael
twirled, pirouetted and whooped into the dry, dusty day. Azamael said nothing,
but his constant, effortless movement grated on Bosch like the tines of a fork
scraped over an empty plate.
Eventually,
Azamael did stop, performing a flawless triple somersault in the air and
nailing the landing. He bounced up and down on his toes as he waited for Bosch
to close the distance.
"And,
halt," Azamael said. "Time for a little exercise."
Bosch's
mouth fell open in slack-jawed astonishment. He took one more step forward and
then just plain fell. He started choking almost immediately as golden dust
inconsiderately swirled in the air while he was trying to catch his breath.
"Out
standing, Dead Boy. You must have read my mind. See that pebble in front of
your left hand? Move the pebble. Now."
The
pebble in question was small, about the size of a peanut, and colored the same
drab brown. Finally, Bosch thought, something I can do. He reached out his left
hand, curled his index finger against his thumb and, hoping the pebble might
just thwack Azamael in the face, flicked.
After
he stopped screaming and sucking on his abused index finger, Bosch glared up
into Azamael's smile.
"You
tricked me," Bosch said. "Sgt. Azamael."
Azamael
frowned.
"Hmmm,"
he murmured to himself. "Sub-microscopic's out. Need to move to the
observable, I think."
Grabbing
him by the upper arm, Azamael casually tossed Bosch about twenty feet into the
air. Bosch screamed until gravity smacked him into the dirt. His head stared
into the cloudless sky while the rest of his body was twisted one hundred
eighty degrees. His body shook as he flipped over onto his back, head still
facing skyward.
Bosch
held his fingers up to his eyes, slowly flexing his digits. Gingerly, he
touched his neck, probing near his spine.
"There's....
I'm not hurt. I, my neck was broken."
Azamael
shook his head slowly back and forth, a look of pity on his face.
"An
image of a neck is not a neck."
Bosch
struggled into a sitting position, bracing himself on his hands. He wished
looks really could maim.
"I....
Why did you do that? You could have killed me."
Azamael
just stared at him. As he realized what he'd said and grimaced, Azamael smiled
again.
"No
neck. No body. It's just an image of how you think you look. You can't really
be hurt. You wouldn't have believed me if I told you. I needed to show you. Now
you believe."
Azamael
offered a hand up. Bosch sniffed, turned his head away and scrambled upright on
his own.
"Enough
jabbering, recruit. Get running." Azamael took off like a moon colonist,
leaping effortlessly and touching down lightly.
Bosch
grunted and pushed off into a slow trot. He shook his head, marveling at the
lack of pain. There was no injury or anything to indicate his head had been
twisted halfway around. He was dead, after all. He ran for another couple of
steps as he watched Azamael make a mockery of physical laws and limitations.
Bosch was in a place where the laws he knew in his bones were more along the
lines of suggestions.
“What
the hel—heck?”
He
didn't even leap that hard. He just closed his eyes and added a bit of an extra
spring in his step. Bosch didn't land. He kept waiting to touch down. Surely he
hadn't jumped that far? Had he? Bosch opened one eye the tiniest fraction of an
inch. Both eyes shot open as he stared at the ground a good hundred feet below
him. He was standing motionless in mid-air.
"Oh."
Bosch
flailed his arms, trying to keep his balance as the wind whipped past him.
Every second carried him closer to the ground. This was going to hurt. No, he
thought, it didn't have to. Bosch closed his eyes again. When he opened them,
his feet were on the ground, the good, solid ground.
Azamael
stood a few feet away, hands on his hips, wearing a smile on his face.
"Well,
you answered my first question. So. Have you given any thought to my second?
What do you owe God?"
"No.
I, I don’t know. Prayer? Love? I'm sorry, I.... I didn't even believe God
existed."
Saying
nothing, Azamael looked around at the golden landscape for a second before
turning back to Bosch.
"Wrong
on both counts. God, obviously, does exist. But they don't want your
prayer."
"Then
what?"
Azamael
turned around and walked two brisk steps away before squatting down on the hard
ground. He beckoned Bosch forward. Shrugging, Bosch moved next to Azamael and
knelt down.
"Move
that," Azamael said, pointing to a fist-sized rock, resting lopsidedly on
the ground.
Bosch
reached out toward the rock then paused, remembering his attempt to earlier
attempt to move a much smaller pebble. His finger would still have hurt, if he
still had a real finger.
Putting
a hand on either side of the rock, Bosch stood up. His hands stayed where they
were.
"You're
supposed to lift with your legs, not your back. Never mind. 'S not a real back
anyway."
Grunting,
Bosch tried again with all the success of most of his athletic endeavors. Which
was to say, none at all.
"If
you can't do it, you can't do it. Just means you're not cut out for chemical
reactions. Let's try this one over there."
Azamael
vanished. One second he stood next to Bosch, the next instant he was two
hundred meters away, leaning against a house-sized boulder of golden brown. An
audible click sounded as Bosch shut his mouth. He stepped forward, then
stopped, staring at Azamael. There was a soft bamph of imploding air as nature
proved, even post-mortem, that it abhors a vacuum.
It
was Bosch's turn to smile as he reappeared next to Azamael.
"Quick
study." Azamael patted the boulder. "Now, try to move this
puppy."
"I
don't really understand what's going.... I mean, look. I couldn't move those little
rocks. How do you expect me to move this one?"
"Try."
"All
right, but I'm telling you I won't...." Bosch's voice trailed off as he
stared at the boulder, slowly revolving away from the gentle pressure of his
finger. "It, it worked."
"And
now you've answered my second question."
"I.
What? What do you mean?"
"God
doesn't want your love, although that would be nice, or your prayer. They want
your work."
"But,
but I'm dead. I'm done with work. Right?"
"Not
according to that," Azamael said, nodding toward the spinning boulder.
"I'm
completely lost."
"Not
surprising. You're wondering why you could move that rock and not the smaller
ones. And what all this has to do with anything. Right?"
"Well,
yeah."
Azamael
floated slowly up into the air. Bosch gulped, closed his eyes and clenched his
fists. His boots lifted a few inches off the ground, and then slammed back into
the dirt. He shook his head, took a deep breath, exhaled, and gently drifted up
toward Azamael, opening his eyes on the way.
"Consider
the universe," Azamael said, waving his hand toward the stars beginning to
glimmer in the sky. "The universe was a heck of a lot easier to run in the
beginning. Just a bunch of rocks and some flaming gas. God just wound it up and
let the watch run.
"Then
along came humanity and thousands of other intelligent races. They looked
around at the universe and some of the smarter ones started asking questions.
What are those bright lights in the sky? How come they just hang there? Why is
it bricks don't float?"
"Bricks?"
"Think
about it. Anyway, they all came up with all these great theories about how the
universe works. And God, well, they love us and want us to be happy, so they
started supplying reality that matched theory.
"Unfortunately,
that 's even more complicated than it sounds. God wanted a little time to spend
doing something besides running the universe so they started recruiting souls
instead of just recycling them. Not everybody has the aptitude. Those that
can't find a niche get sent back for another turn on the old mortality
wheel."
"But,
but why me?"
"Does
that really matter? You're one of the lucky ones. You get to help God. There's not many that can say that."
"What
do you want me to do?"
"You
get to spin planets."
"Spin?
Planets?"
"Sure.
You moved the big rock, didn't you? That translates to planet-equivalent
mass." Azamael gestured toward the gas giant hovering suddenly over his
shoulder. "What? You thought planets just spun on their own? Oh, please.
The universe is too complicated. It needs supervision. From you, among many,
many others."
Bosch
looked around, staring into infinity on one side and into the depths of a huge,
banded gas giant on the other.
"Where
are we?"
"HD
168746. It's a yellow-orange G5 V star, similar to the sun, about 140 light
years from Earth."
"Who
cares what happens out here?"
"Hey,
every job is important. Think about light. It moves as a wave and a particle.
Right?"
Bosch
nodded.
"Yeah,"
Azamael said. "It does _now_. Somebody goofed up and let some particles
slip through the waves. Unfortunately, human scientists noticed so now we've
got to keep up the wave-particle sham. Lots of work for such a small
slip."
"But,
I don't know what to do."
Azamael
smiled.
"You'll
get the hang of it. Just keep 'em spinning the right way. You'll do fine. God
sends their thanks."
Bosch
reached out toward the gas giant. Either he was growing larger, or the planet
was shrinking. He jerked his hand back and the Jovian loomed over him again. He
stretched out his hand and gently pushed. With glacial slowness, colors
separated from each other as the giant began to spin.
Well
done, he thought.
"I
didn't think that," Bosch said.
“Yes we did”,
he thought
Bosch
shrugged. After so much strangeness, what was a little more? He turned his
attention back to the gas giant and lost himself in concentration. He stared
and thought, and pushed and thought and exerted just the right amount of
control and thought.
Decades
passed. Bosch no longer noticed. The gas giant, along with the six other
planets in the system, might just as well have been spinning on their own for
all the attention Bosch afforded them. Over time, he had become so adept at the
work he hardly even noticed he was doing it.
The
application of imaginary numbers to the prediction of quasi-stellar phenomena
had occupied his mind for a while, but that quickly paled.
"Numbers,"
he said. "We don't need no stinking numbers."
Too
right, they thought.
Something
tugged at his mind and brought him back from the infinite. For the first time
in long millennia Bosch looked around at his system... planets still spinning,
still in correct orbits. Nothing new under the su—
No,
they thought. That wasn't quite true.
Looks
like we'll be making some changes around here soon. Bosch smiled and wondered
what the new universe would look like. No boot camps this time, thought.
And
on a water-bearing planet circling about 1.3 AU from the primary, something
green and scaly looked up and wondered about the bright spots hanging in the
darkness.