Please Help Support CTTA By
Checking Out Our Sponsers Products
It
seems Mr. Slater has issues with his editors… all those other editors… not me
of course. by Robert L. Slater “Sam!”
Ellen admonished, pulling my gaze up from the pair of legs and into the gentle
face of the secretary. Thank God nylon rations had ended. As a teen I remembered women painting that
line up the back of their legs. “We’d
like to see Mr. Bancroft,” I said, carefully maintaining eye contact. “He’s
waiting to see you, Mr. Slade.” I
smiled my thanks and allowed myself one last glance at those shapely legs. Ellen elbowed me in the side and struck my
war-issue .45. “Ouch!” “Be
quiet. You hit me.” Ellen slid her hand inside my gun-metal
gray double-breasted pinstripe suit. “I
can’t believe you’re packing.” “He’s
an editor. I’m a writer. You’re my agent. ‘Nough said.” I
straightened my tie, tugged my suit down and strode into Bancroft’s Office. Mr. Bancroft glanced up at us from
behind the gorgeous expanse of his spit-polished maple desk. Two chairs and a coat rack completed the
furnishings, spare, but expensive. "There's
no need for your agent," he explained sweetly. Warning
bells jangled. "You're an editor,
right?" "Of
course."
"Then I want my agent here."
My fingers stroked at the well-defined cleft in my chin.
"Very well, Sam," he lamented. "But she won’t accompany you on the all-expense-paid
workshop."
"She's only here to check out the contract."
"Here.” Bancroft gestured
expansively toward the desk. “This
contract will make you one of the biggest rising stars in the Science Fiction
firmament." He smiled gently, his
gray brows comforting. The contract and pen looked lonesome on
the huge desk--no typewriter, no manuscripts, no telephone. This guy took cleanliness to new highs. I glanced at the contract and saw the same
smile reflected into an evil frown in the shiny desktop. It reminded me of the scene in Damn Yankees
where Joe Boyd sells his soul to the devil for a chance at the major
leagues. Well, for the right contract… And I’d want to meet Lucifer in person, no
sub-daemons or motion picture producers. I handed
the contract to Ellen. Long ago I
realized that my talent for business was inversely proportional to my talent as
a writer.
"These rates‘re astronomical, Sam," Ellen whistled.
"Nothing but the best for our rising stars," Bancroft agreed. "What's
the catch?" I asked. "The
catch, Sam? No catch. Sign this and walk through that door,”
Bancroft gestured behind him. “Your transport waits on the roof.” "Ellen?" She
continued to scan the contract. “Have
patience.” Finally she shrugged.
"I’d say it’s too good to be true, but it's your funeral." "I'll
right, I'll sign." I whipped out
my heavy contract signing pen and scrawled one of my more legible signatures. “Welcome
to the fastest moving corporation in the universe. On this journey you’ll meet
the best and brightest minds this planet has to offer.” He held out his hand. It felt cold and clammy—the classic limp
fish shake. “Thanks for coming along, Ellen, I'll
call when I can." "Take
care of yourself, Sam," she counseled. "I
always do," I retorted. "This
way, Bancroft?" "Yes,
Sam, your chariot awaits." He
punched a key on his desk and hydraulics opened the door. I
slipped through and looked down a long hallway, but something kept me from
going down it. Paranoia, I guess. As the door closed behind me, I put my pen
on the floor between the doorjamb and the door. “Good
Day, Miss Ellen,” Bancroft acknowledged. Maybe
my paranoia filters needed adjustment.
I bent to retrieve my pen. "Bancroft,
this door’s locked," Ellen said. "You’re
sure? Check it again.” “Yes,
it’s locked.” Sensing
trouble, I pushed on the door. It
didn't move. "Well,
Ellen," Bancroft murmured, "Perhaps we could use you." He laughed that sick sort of laugh you only
hear in B movies. “Editors are always
looking for something fresh.” I
slammed my muscular bulk into the door.
It didn’t budge, my shoulder did.
Grimacing in pain, I pulled on the knob and something in the door
mechanism released. I shoved my way
back into the room. He
had his hands all over her and his eyes shone like a used-car salesman on a
Sunday. She fought back, clawing at his
face, but it didn't seem to bother him. "I
don't think you'll be using her after all." Bancroft turned, surprised. Ellen grabbed the contract from him and
skipped away. "Let's
go, Ellen," I suggested, trying the door.
It didn't budge. I slammed on
the door with my fist. It felt solid. I pulled my .45 carefully from its shoulder
holster. "What
do you plan to do with that?" Bancroft inquired. He eyed me as the spider does the fly,
wondering why fight the inevitable. I
flicked the safety off, pointed it at the door and pulled the trigger. The door took the slug like a spitwad on a
chalkboard. "I'm afraid its bulletproof and
soundproof, Sam." His look of
bemused disdain remained. I turned the gun on him and pulled the
trigger twice. The first slug blew his
face off and revealed dark brown scales underneath. The second knocked his head back. His head returned to vertical and his eyes attempted to focus on
the silvery slugs imbedded in his face like a peas in mashed potatoes. He scraped at his hands. Like cheap rubber gloves, his skin came off
in strips revealing wicked claws. “Sam, be reasonable. You can see the stars. Distant planets. We’ll take you there.” “If I go, I’ll go my way.” His talons reached for me. I raised the gun. Ellen screamed, "Why? What do you want with
him?" The monster that was Bancroft spun on
Ellen. Its head cocked to one side. "Your species is advancing too fast.
We would like this planet. His kind are providing to much motivation and ideas.
We'd rather have him for dinner. But you're my appetizer." My fingers worked the trigger
involuntarily as the counterfeit human flesh sloughed off. His hard skull absorbed the blows as more
hit. He turned his head and smiled
predatorily. “You should’ve spent more
time at the gun range, Sam.” The next slug hit his eye socket and
the condescension disappeared. My
finger clicked on the empty chamber.
Bluish fluid oozed from his facial orifices as the body fell. It careened off the desk and landed
solidly. Ellen’s
hand grasped the gun. "You can
stop now." I glanced
at her and nodded. She reached under
the desktop and flipped a switch to unlock the door. "You
want to put that thing away?" Dumbly, I
slipped the gun back into its holster, but not before sliding in a full clip to
replace the spent one. I opened the
door, we strode out and I shut it behind me.
The
secretary spun in her seat, smiling.
"How was your meeting?"
"Excellent." No way
she could hide reptile flesh under that skin.
"Mr. Bancroft asked not to be disturbed. I'm afraid he's immersed in his slush pile." Ellen and
I strode to the door calmly and I opened it for her.
"Thank you, Sam." We
climbed into my Studebaker. I revved
the engine and spun out into the busy midday traffic. Then my hands started to shake.
"I think I want a drink." "Me,
too," Ellen agreed. "I don't
get how you figured it out?" I laughed, it felt good. "Simple. Writers’ first rule: Never trust an editor with a perfectly clean
desk."
Shooting Star